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The holidays are a very enjoyable time for most, but for those who mourn the holiday, it can bring a lot of sadness. The loss of a loved one can be an all-consuming feeling most days, but often during the holiday season that feeling is magnified by reminders of past years and what could have been. So, in all the busyness and joy of the season, it’s important to remember those of us who mourn Christmas by making them feel loved, remembered and supported.
But how do we do that and what does it look like? Most people worry that they will say or do the wrong thing. But in most cases, people want to know that we don’t forget their loved ones. That their sorrows are true and just, even in a joyous season. It’s not about the perfect words or the perfect gift, just the act of remembering means a lot.
Today, I wanted to share some ideas to encourage those who missed someone this year. While these are not the only things we can do, I hope you find them encouraging and helpful.
Pick up the phone.
Many people think of Christmas Eve or Christmas Day as a day when you should not call someone in mourning because they are “special” days. In fact, those are the days that can be the loneliest for mourners. Any time during the season though, it would mean a lot. Mention your loved ones by name and share a happy moment.
Send a letter.
A handwritten letter can mean a lot to someone who gets hurt during the holiday season. It shows that you take the time to think about them and acknowledge their pain. Write down your thoughts and prayers, and perhaps tangible memories of loved ones. If you have fond memories of the person you haven’t shared before, a nice way to do this would be a letter.
Send a thoughtful gift.
Whether it’s someone who has lost a child, a parent, or a family on the road to illness or divorce, consider reaching for love. People who hurt or miss someone won’t be offended if you do this – they will actually be very grateful. We have many ideas in our Sympathy Gift Guide. I like red cardinal ornaments From Fig & Dove and everything they stand for: that we are in the presence of lost loved ones and those who have always gone before us. They white acrylic pigeons symbolizes hope and this A bottle of tears Christmas gift set just as beautiful.
Include them in your plans.
Ask your friend or family member if they would like to join you for Christmas dinner or your church’s Christmas Eve service. Even a vacation trip. It could be as simple as going for a walk, driving to look at the lights, or buying tickets to a movie or local theater show for the two of you to enjoy. Being around others during this time is very important to everyone – especially those who are experiencing grief. But if they reject your offer, understand and keep reaching out.
Do not forget about children, widows and widows who have lost their parents.
Especially those who manage the holiday alone for the first time. See if you can help with gifts, gift shopping or packaging, or if they need help keeping up a special tradition. Offer to light their home and decorate their garden. Consider arranging a group of friends to perform the Christmas carol in front of their house. These simple things mean so much to children (and adults too) and bring them so much joy.
Small acts of kindness and remembrance go a long way in letting the people we love in our lives know that they are loved in return.
What would you add to this list?
lee
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