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Etiquette has always helped people navigate social situations with confidence and grace. But what do we do when there is no specific etiquette protocol for something like COVID etiquette, for example? Over the past few weeks, we’ve received a lot of emails asking about COVID vaccine etiquette and other etiquette questions about the pandemic. That’s why today we make suggestions to handle these scenarios with kindness and show how we can love our friends and family well even if we disagree on certain issues.
When there are no clear guidelines for something like COVID vaccine etiquette, step one is to get back to the heart of modern etiquette: To be considerate of others in everything we do. The Golden Rule should always be in our minds: Do my actions and reactions treat this person as I would like to be treated?
However, it is important to note that having good manners does not mean being impulsive. We teach this to the girls in our school. teen etiquette e-course, but everyone should know! Etiquette helps us communicate our boundaries graciously and without judgment. We can make decisions that may seem different to our families than to our friends and families and still communicate those decisions respectfully.
Let’s get to the reader questions about covid vaccine etiquette and other etiquette questions about the pandemic!
Is it okay to ask someone if they are vaccinated?
It is inappropriate to ask about someone’s vaccination status in a casual conversation, but NS appropriate when it comes to your family’s health and safety. For example, if you’re hiring a babysitter or nanny, or if a family invites your unvaccinated toddler for play. Some readers have expressed that they would like to see their hairdressers only if they are vaccinated.
How do I politely ask someone if they are vaccinated?
Putting people on the scene is inconsiderate, so always give someone a way not to respond if they don’t feel comfortable. Remember, there are people who are unable to receive the vaccine for underlying health reasons and may understandably not feel comfortable disclosing these details. You may also have a friend who has strong feelings about the vaccine, and asking directly can add unnecessary friction to your relationship. Other people may not want to share their vaccination status because they feel strongly that their vaccination status is private. So always try to ask indirectly, spice your words with grace and humility.
“I hope you understand that we only hire vaccinated babysitters.” (If she doesn’t say she is, you can assume she isn’t, or base your decision on her not responding.)
“Our pediatrician said we should only allow vaccinated people near our baby at this time.”
“I understand if you don’t want to share this information, but our family only goes to adult vaccinated homes.”
Because we know that vaccinated people can spread the virus, in some cases, also, “We are currently limiting the number of social interactions” response from the beginning of the pandemic.
If you need to ask directly, ask humbly:
“I know this is a very 2021 question, but have you received your COVID vaccine? This is important to our family as we have young children who are not vaccinated.”
“You don’t have to tell me, but I was wondering if you had the vaccine? We’re still being cautious.”
I did not get the vaccine. How do I respond when someone asks about my vaccination status?
“No, I didn’t get vaccinated. Thanks for asking – I totally respect your decision to do so.”
“I couldn’t get the vaccine because of an underlying health condition.”
I don’t want to share my vaccination status. How do I respond?
“I hope you understand that I am not comfortable sharing private health information.”
I want our guests to be tested before our wedding. How do I ask this kindly?
There are several ways to deal with this. We’ll post a post with more details, but one way is to reach guests before the wedding RSVP with a card or email with the following message:
To keep everyone healthy and safe during the wedding festivities, we ask that you submit proof of a negative COVID test 48 hours prior to the event. Thank you for your understanding.
You are actually giving your guests two options: they can take a quiz or decline the wedding invitation. The wedding planner or a designated family member, not the bride or groom, should be responsible for managing this information. If someone has questions or concerns, they can direct them to the messenger, not the happy couple!
With increasing cases, I no longer feel comfortable attending a wedding next month. I have already given an RSVP – what should I do?
If it is a close friend or family member, a phone call should be made. Otherwise a note or email is fine.
“I am very sorry that we can no longer attend the wedding. I hope you can understand that we are concerned about the current increase and have decided to social distancing (or limit gathering to vaccinated people) for the time being for the safety of our family.”
I’m not comfortable shaking hands yet. How do I respond?
Try to diffuse the awkwardness with humor. If someone reaches out or comes in for a hug, laugh a little, wave and “I’m so sorry, I’m not really hugging right now. Social distancing though!” it worked fine. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to avoid these typical normal interactions, as long as you let the other person know that there is a reason why you didn’t reciprocate.
How do I ask about someone’s comfort level with masking/socializing without being awkward?
To be considerate of others, first understand someone’s comfort level and then adjust your behavior accordingly. You can often tell someone’s comfort level by making the mistake of being mindful. I know this great new place with a nice patio if you want to sit outside. One can say it’s great or feel free to sit inside.
When it comes to masks and social gatherings, you can say: “Do you mind if I don’t wear a mask?” Or “I am happy to wear a mask.”
How can I ask someone to wear a mask?
You can say, “Would you wear a mask when inside my house? I really appreciate that.” If you’re meeting with a friend or acquaintance, you can send them a text message beforehand like this: “I still mask carefully. Can you bring one?” Again, it’s better not to put people on the scene. Give them a warning and if they don’t they will let you know or reschedule.
I was invited to a party. Is it right to ask people whether there will be a vaccine or a mask?
It would be appropriate to ask whether the party will be held outside, whether masks are required, or even how many people will attend. You can ask if adults should be vaccinated. Most hosts want to make sure their guests feel comfortable at their events, pandemic or not. However, the host is not expected to ask their guests to abide by the rules. yours preferences. If you’re not happy with the situation, politely decline.
What should I do/say if someone I’m in contact with tells me they have COVID?
First, it’s important to keep in mind that this person may feel guilty for unknowingly exposing people to the virus. Also, they are sick and not feeling well. So have grace and understanding.
It is natural to worry about the health of yourself and your family. But at that moment, try not to put any more stress or anxiety on the sick person. In another scenario, what do you do when a friend or family member says they’re sick: Ask if there’s anything you can do, any food you can drop off, or any prescriptions you can get for them. Then take appropriate measures to monitor yourself and your immediate family.
My friend/family member has a very strong (and different) view on vaccines than I do. How can I handle our interactions with kindness?
I think this is where etiquette really comes into play, where we have the opportunity to approach every interaction and scenario with grace and understanding. Even if we have a different stance on the COVID vaccine, it’s important to remember that on the other side of that stance is someone we know and love.
If you find yourself in the middle of an argument or argument, excuse yourself. Whether you agree or disagree with this, tell the other person that you love and respect them. We are all doing our best and trying to do what is right for our families! We may not agree, but it is elegant trying to understand where the other person is coming from and showing humility and respect instead of judgment and rudeness.
On that note, if we are to remain a civil society, we must continue to treat others with respect and courtesy, and to follow good manners. In a time of rudeness and sarcasm (especially on the internet!), I hope DoSayGive readers will set an example in how they interact with others during these moody times.
What other COVID etiquette questions do you have? Comment below!
lee
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